Lore: Jack Driver's Journal
Found near Private Jack Driver's corpse in Luminous Vale after defeating Lydusa or restoring her in Goddess's Rest.
Dear Dawn,
I finished up boot camp. Wasn’t as bad as I expected. Pops had me scared sick about it, but I survived. I did great, too. So great, I was invited to join a special mission. It’s a top-secret one, somewhere real far is all I know. I can’t believe my luck! I’ll get to see the whole big world and really make a name for myself! I’ll bring you back all kinds of treasures, too. Pretty dresses, and maybe even some pearls. You’d sure look pretty in pearls. I could tell Pops was proud, though he didn’t say it. But I think he is. Military runs in our family. This is what he always expected of me, and I swear on the Good Book that I’ll do right by the Driver name. Things are different now, of course. There’s no world war to fight for. Still, I hope I can make a difference.
Dear Dawn,
I was so excited to leave this little town, but now that the day has come, I’ve gotta admit, I’m getting cold feet. It’s you, Dawn. I realize more each day how much I’m gonna miss you. You don’t know this yet, but when I get back from my first assignment, I’ve decided. I’m gonna pop the question, sugar pie. We’re about the same age Pops was when he proposed to Mama, so don’t try and say we’re too young. Feels right. I can just imagine the look on your face. Your dimples really pop when you’re overwhelmed. It’s adorable. I should have enough for a nice little ring, too. They’re paying real well for this mission. You deserve a giant rock, but I’ll do the best I can.
Dear Dawn,
Today’s the day I leave. You always say I don’t share my feelings enough, so here goes. I’m nervous. Actually, I’m terrified. What if I don’t come back? You didn’t help either. You just about broke me, baby. I hate seeing you cry. There you and Mama were, holding each other and blubbering away while Pops and I just shook our heads. Women! It’s not like we’ll never see each other again! I’ll be back in a few short months, and with a hefty payday to start us off right. By the way, I got a nice, firm handshake from Pops, with a pat on the back to boot. And then he did it. He really did. He said he was proud of me. I think, in a way, that’s all I ever wanted. I won’t let him down. Or you, either. That’s a promise. And, hey, if one of those Beatle bugs tries to sweep you off your feet while I’m gone, you punch him in the kisser for me, yeah? Be a good girl while I’m gone. I love you. I should tell you that more. I’ll do better. And I’ll be brave, for all of us. That’s what soldiers do.
Dear Dawn,
I forgot I had this thing in my rucksack. Hell. Damn it all to hell. So much has happened. So much has changed. I don’t even know where to begin, so I guess I’ll just start at the beginning. Our squad is in trouble, baby. Big time. That secret assignment turned out to be a recon mission on another world. I know it sounds like some damn sci-fi nonsense, but it’s true. We traveled through a giant crystal thing and wound up in some horrible jungle on another planet. Thank God for Captain Ford. He's brilliant, and I’d be dead if not for his leadership. We all would.
Someone's coming. More soon.
Dear Dawn,
We made it out of that hellhole prison. Guess I didn’t get to that part... We were captured by goat men. Look, I know how it sounds. I swear I’m not making this up. I don’t want to worry you, so I’ll keep the details short. Let’s just say they don’t like strangers, and we weren’t met with a warm welcome. I don’t know how to sugarcoat this, so I’ll just say it. We died. And then we came back to life. But we were different. Hard to explain. We all just feel different. More tired? I don’t know how else to put it. Anyway, we were separated from Captain Ford along the way. We fear the worst. The rest of us were captured, like I said, but we escaped. The bad news is that the magic crystal that brought us here is busted. But we’ll figure something out. Nothing could keep me from you.
Dear Dawn,
It’s been a long time since I last looked at this thing. That dumb crystal's broken. We tried everything and more. We’re stuck here, baby. Probably forever. We ran and ran and ran, for days, weeks, months, I don’t even know. Ran until we were sure those goat freaks were far behind us. We keep trying to find a way back home. We keep trying and dying and coming back. We figured it out, by the way. When we die, we come back older. I know it doesn’t make sense. None of it does. We kept expecting Captain Ford to reappear too, but he never did. We searched everywhere. Spent more than a few lives trying to find him. “No man left behind.” That’s what he always said, and it’s hammered into our skulls. But no luck. Poor Captain... He must have died and stayed dead. God rest his soul. But I haven’t given up. I’ll find my way back to you. And it’s not just me. Dash has a baby on the way. Shit, I guess the little boy is born by now. Dammit. We’ll find a way back. Please... Please, wait for me.
Dear Dawn,
It hurts to write your name, but it would hurt even more not to. Another couple years have passed, and we’re still stuck here. We used our survival training to make a home base for ourselves. It’s nothin’ fancy, but at least it's something. Since last I wrote, we lost Matt. Matthew Wilson was a good man. I don’t want history to forget his name, so I’ll try to do him justice here. He was brave and decent. Before all this, he sent money home each week to his family back in Kansas. The man was relentless. Kept leaving and dying and leaving and dying. Turned up just to refuel, tell us what he learned, then leave again. Said his Ma was sick in the hospital and needed him. We watched him age rapidly until finally... That was it. Turns out we can still die. Is it sad that’s a relief? I’m feeling hopeless, baby. I miss you so much. I never told you how much you mean to me. Not really. How pretty you are. How much I think about you. Every damn day. Your face haunts me. I’d give anything to hold you again.
Dear Dawn,
You remember when we went down to the beach, and that seagull made off with your sandwich? You cried and I laughed. I remember. You can smell the sea from a mile way. My car made that awful sound every time I went uphill, and you insisted it was charming. You named my car Maryl, and I had kittens, because that is no name for a car. You get these freckles on your nose when you’re out in the sun for too long. And your eyes are as green as emeralds.
Dear Dawn,
Today we said goodbye to Buddy Shannon. He leaves behind his wife, Lydia, and three little girls. This one hit me hard. He went on and on about those kids. Dammit. I can’t stop crying. Soldiers don’t cry, but I can’t stop. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
Dear Dawn,
Remember putting on a record and slow dancing in the living room? Until your Pa came in and kicked me out. He never did like me. Remember eating ice cream at the shop? I pretended to drop mine so we had to share. Smooth, huh? Your hands always got cold, so I got you mittens one Christmas. Wool mittens. Remember wool? And pillows. And chairs. Rocking chairs! On a porch at sunset. The crickets singing in the background. And you with that look on your face that told me to lean in and steal a kiss. You looked like an angel in the moonlight. I wonder what you look like now. I’d give anything to see. You probably have wrinkles to fret over now. Crazy to imagine. I wish I could see them. I’m so angry about every damn wrinkle I missed showing up on your sweet face. I bet you’re married with kids by now. Whoever he is, he’s a lucky bastard. I hate him. He’d better treat you right, or I’ll find a way back just to kill him.
Dear Dawn,
Another soldier down. It’s those rock monsters. They’re brutal. They’ll be the end of us all. Poor Spencer Clark was too slow. We’re all slowing down. It’s inevitable. Spence was quiet. Kind. Never hesitated to share his rations with the rest of us, even when they dwindled down to nothing. I could hear him sobbing at night, but by morning he was smiling again. He never lost that damn smile. I don’t know how he did it. Now it’s just Dash and me.
Dear Dawn,
Snowmen. Stockings. Reindeer. Santa. Elves. Chimneys. Chestnuts. Tinsel. Ham.
Started thinking about Christmas, and I had to get all that off my chest. I can’t go on like this, though. It’s not healthy to live in the past. I need to let go. Move on. Not from you, though. Never.
Oh, hot chocolate, too! With marshmallows. And...what’s it called? Shit, what’s it called...
Dear Dawn,
Nutmeg. I remembered. Good stuff.
Dear Dawn,
I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while, but then again, you’ll never see this, so it’s probably okay. I’m almost out of ink anyway. You’re an old lady by now, aren’t you, angel? Time is so cruel. Life is so cruel. But it is what it is. I signed up knowing there were risks. Nothing can be done.
Dear Dawn,
Dash is gone. My last friend. The last human on this god forsaken world, other than myself. Thomas Dash was a brave man. Adventurous. Disciplined. He woke up and used his jackknife to give himself a military shave every single day for his whole long life here. Said the routine brought him some kind of peace, like a little connection to Earth. Now it’s just me. But I’m old. Tired. I won’t give up. Soldiers never do. But I don’t have long left. I can feel it.
Dear Dawn,
You’re not gonna believe it! Someone showed up. A human! A real human! Even better, they know of a way back home to Earth and promised to take me along. If only Dash had held out just a couple more weeks, he could have been saved too. I know you’re long dead by now, but somewhere in the back of my head, I can’t help thinking you’ll be there waiting for me on Ma’s porch, your laugh ringing like a bell, and that beautiful smile lighting up your face. I promise to visit your grave when I’m back and bring you some nice flowers, baby. I love you madly. The memory of you kept me company all these long, lonely years. In that way, you saved my life. I’m grateful I got to spend what little time I did with you. You’ll always be my girl, Dawn. Always.