Lore: Departed Queen's Diary

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What have I done? What will happen now... I have fallen for a god and king, and he has somehow deigned to love me in return. I fear what the future holds, yet I cannot help but step onward down this blazing path to ruin. Let be whatever shall be. There is no turning back now.

Within the castle walls is a world all my own, surrounded and protected by His Majesty. Yet how long can this last? How long can my presence remain hidden? It is not that I doubt him. I am not capable of it. But all things must follow the natural rhythm of the world, and the coming rhyme is one of discord. I wait for it with bated breath.

I do not trust the scribe. He knows not of my existence, but I watch from the shadows as he wanders about these halls, sticking his verminous nose where it does not belong. He has been sentenced to servitude due to crimes unnamed, but it would be better to send him to the pike and be done with it. Why is it that all of the king's scribes are equally duplicitous and must inevitably meet the same end?

His Majesty and I exchanged rings. It was just us and the shining and secluded waters of the Lady’s lake. I am at a loss for words. Whatever the cost, I cannot regret this thorny path that life has led me down. Though none but the two of us and his confidante the goddess shall ever know of it, my fate has been irrevocably tied to his. I welcome it, despite whatever misery or hardship is to follow.

My king is so often accused of cruelty by the ignorant and savage masses, but they have no idea what benevolence he has rained down upon their unworthy lives, nor how he suffers for them. The Fae would be little more than wild creatures tearing each other to shreds without his iron rule. If only I could stand by his side before them, his actual queen with sickle in hand, and show them what true cruelty looks like that they might appreciate their king.

I am with child. I feel a chill from deep within that no fire can warm. This child is a blasphemy. Proof of how the king lowered himself by joining flesh with a Fae. I have betrayed him, by allowing my heart to lead us both astray. He should strike me down where I stand. I wish that he would.

The child has arrived. A son. Not a proper heir, of course. If anything, a threat. His Majesty will of course keep his distance, as he must. I can hardly stand the sight of the child, I am so ashamed. But he can never know. It is not his fault he was born to a selfish Fae who put the whole kingdom at risk to appease a trifling emotion. I will care for this imposter prince as best I can and find a way to make him see why things must be as they are when he is old enough to understand.

My time, it seems, is nearly at an end. I have fallen ill and shall not recover. Though a god himself, there is nothing my king can do to save this mortal vessel. He is frantic with rage and grief. I wonder what will become of him when I am gone. And the child... He must be taught to be ruthless. Unyielding. For it is a ruthless and unyielding world, and will be especially so for him. Perhaps I was too kind to him. I simply thought there would be more time. Another mistake on my part.

Goodbye, my king. If we are ever to meet again, it will be a long time yet. I wonder if he will remember me across the vast expanse of eternity...